


The Love of a Fighter

by Moonluster



Category: Loveless
Genre: Canon - Manga, Character Study, Drabble, Feelings Realization, Internal Monologue, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 15:06:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16088585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonluster/pseuds/Moonluster
Summary: Soubi knows who he is and how he feels about Ritsuka, although no one seems to understand him, and he's content with that.





	The Love of a Fighter

There was Ritsuka. That child that Seimei, his previous master, had commanded him to love.   
  
When Soubi looked upon him--he didn’t feel that strange, consuming, intoxicating feeling that most people described as ‘lust’.   
He didn’t even know if it was possible for him to ever feel as such, as he’d never once felt attraction to anyone in a way that he’d want to touch them in that way.   
Although he didn’t want to think about what might have caused it, he suspected what it really was.   
  
Given this fact, although his best friend Kio had accused him of being a pervert and a pedophile; Soubi knew he couldn’t be.  
For the joke’s sake, he simply smiled and agreed--but he knew he could never do such a thing to Ritsuka, or any other child.    
  
He couldn’t bear the thought of another butterfly having its wings ripped off, because that had been him once, and he wouldn’t do it to another.   
  
Regardless, because of his childhood, Soubi had been raised to do two things: follow orders and bear pain.   
Just as desire was absent within him, so was love.   
Was love a feeling? An obsession? A force that drove you to protect someone? A drug that fueled the desire to die for the person you focused your affections on?   
Maybe it was these things and more; but Soubi hadn’t known it--until recently.   
  
  
Once, on a strange day, he realized that he was willing to die for Ritsuka.   
It didn’t matter if Ritsuka told Soubi he hated him; he was going to love the hot-headed young boy, even if it killed him.  
  
At one point in time, he’d been willing to die for Seimei as well. So, did Soubi love him, too?   
No, that couldn’t have been right, because he’d never experienced _this_ before: this swelling, deep, warm, stirring feeling in his chest that rose within him, spreading throughout his otherwise cold body.  
He discovered that this gentle but persistent warmth was consuming; and it was nothing like a drug, or an immovable force. No, it was much more fluid, and constant. It had invaded and disturbed his usual state of heart, like a rose that had blossomed on a once-dead rose bush in the middle of the summer.   
  
This same feeling persisted when he felt Ritsuka’s small, warm, and supple body between his arms to protect him from the word spells aimed at the Sacrifice.  
At one point in the battle, he’d felt the sweet boy relax in his arms--and his heart had begun to race.   
_He trusts me._  
Although he wanted to vow to never break the young one’s trust, he knew it was unrealistic, given the circumstances surrounding their union.   
  
There would be times where he would have to do things to save Ritsuka from the truth or hide something that Soubi didn’t want him to know of, whether it was of himself or his activities.   
After all, Ritsuka was still just a child--it didn’t matter how mature or bold he was; even Soubi had to remind himself of this at times.   
  
Perhaps, if they continued to know one another as Ritsuka grew up, their relationship developed past master and servant, and if Ritsuka ever wanted to pursue that path...  
  
Well, he would have to think about it. For now, though, Soubi would continue to love, serve, and protect Ritsuka with everything he could. 

**Author's Note:**

> So, I know that Loveless is basically a dead fandom (since Yun Kouga is kind of lazy about making or releasing any content anymore) but I thought I would still write and publish this little piece of drabble, after realizing something about Soubi that I feel like most readers and the in-canon characters totally missed about him. In fact, I almost did as well, until I did some thinking and reread the manga.
> 
> If any remaining Loveless fans stumbled upon this and got to the end, go ahead and hit me up--I don't have anyone to scream about Loveless with, and it's kinda lonely when you have your feels all to yourself. >_<
> 
> ~Moon
> 
> P.S.: Ritsu deserved to get his eyeballs ripped out. Fite me.


End file.
